family

A Map of the Known World (April 2009) is Lisa Ann Sandell's third novel (it was also the first book I have discovered that was edited by Aimee Friedman a neat-o YA author in her own right whom I met very, very, very briefly at a reading). She has two other critically acclaimed novels under her belt. According to her website, those previous books were written in verse. I feel like saying that now because I want to address the tone of the book, before saying anything else about it. At times the writing felt erratic--sometimes profoundly authentic, at other times very much like a writer writing as a teen. That might be due in part to Sandell's experience with free verse. It might also be because I was reading and uncorrected advanced proof. I don't know, but I wanted to point it out all the same. Now you know.  read more »

The Secret Life of Prince Charming (2009) is the latest book from critically acclaimed writer Deb Caletti. Some have suggested that the cover art is misleading, suggesting to readers that they will find a peppy, romantic comedy type of book inside. If, however, the cover is taken more in terms of generalities, it is a perfect visual representation of this book's core--a meditation on love, truth, family and, of course, relationships.

Seventeen-year-old Quinn has grown up in the shadow of bad relationships. She knows all the gory details of her aunt's numerous breakups, the story behind her grandmother's two collapsed marriages. Quinn and her little sister Sprout are also intimately familiar with their mother's divorce from their father. Despite all that knowing, Quinn is still desperate for her father to be a part of her life.  read more »

This is one of my favorite images from the million and a half items held by the NYPL’s Picture Collection. Of course, I haven’t seen them all, and if you ask my co-workers they’ll tell you that I usually work with pictures about ships, airplanes, battles and weird animals like bats, insects and snakes. But this image really stirs me. Every few months I take it from its folder (labeled FAMILY LIFE – 1950s) and revisit it to remind me of the evocative power of art from another time. This picture stands for all the reasons we save it and other pictures for the public to use and enjoy.

It’s an illustration from an elementary school level reading book, and it shows a family getting ready to leave after a visit to relatives on a farm. It’s dated 1951, but still has a strong late-40’s feel, especially in the car with its small-windowed, round-fendered “roadster” look so unlike the plumper, chrome-adorned autos we associate with the Eisenhower era and which turned into the big-finned “land yachts” of the Kennedy years. Look how the artist has captured the behavior of the animals: the dog pulls back from the baby’s outthrust hand, while the cat leans into the ear-scratching given by the little girl. A chicken comes running to see what all the fuss is about. Father is opening the trunk of the car. He has his jacket and hat ready to go with those suit pants because, even though he may have gone around with his tie off and top button of his shirt undone, he’s going back the city now, and men have to dress for this. The young boy wears a straw hat as a memento, but his Mom has a hat and high heels. Grandpa (in overalls) and Grandma (in her apron) are bringing a farewell gift of fresh vegetables and eggs to take back to the suburbs.

Yes, it’s idealized, and even a little corny (no pun intended!), but it speaks to me in so many ways. I love the trim neatness of the farm buildings against the blue sky. I feel the undertones of modest prosperity and the strength of family ties. I’m reminded that there’s a whole country beyond the borders of New York City, with real people whose work feeds us all, and whom we often dismiss from our lofty urban perch. It all makes me try to imagine the classrooms where this book would have been used. What did the kids there do after school? Where did their parents work, and what did they watch on TV? It’s almost too clean and perfect, and all the faces are white.

It’s very much a product of its era, and I know this. But it still suggests how America wanted to see itself at the time it was made. To me, it’s as evocative of its era as anything by a Greek black-figure vase painter, Breugel or David Hockney. It’s an America I just missed seeing, and perhaps that’s why it appeals to me so strongly.

Realistically we know no relationship is perfect, especially the relationships we have with our families. They say you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. My father has not talked to his siblings in years and three out of the five are dead and the rest are in their late 80’s. My father can’t accurately state what it was that drove them apart. The wedge that was forced into the heart of my father’s family was powerful enough to keep the siblings apart forever. I see elements of regret, even remorse when my father speaks about his family, even after so many years, the hurt is still there. Perhaps because it is family. They say blood is thicker than water and a hurt within family hurts deeper than any other. In one sense, you can never walk away from your family, even if the steps you take, take you clear across the country and to a far distant city. Your family is still with you, by way of shared experiences and at some point shared values and a shared intimacy, even if that all ended, when as young person you decided to walk away and never looked back. Blood is blood.

What is it about a family relationship that creates such a hotbed of tension? In the case of my father, he talked about money, jealously and dysfunction that began with his parents. Sometimes it can be a slight or it can be the marriage to a person who will never be accepted into the family fold, which causes the destruction. Whatever the cause, nothing displays this tragic disarray better than Brooke Astor’s family. Plastered all over the papers, from the revered New York Times to the daily rags, we are witnessing the unraveling of Brooke Astor’s family. It is hard to believe that Brooke Astor, truly one of the most beloved philanthropic individuals in New York Society, could have been the catalyst for the manifestation of such vitriol unfolding in the papers.

Anyone who had a chance to meet Brooke Astor, not only felt anointed but also felt the caring and warmth that she shared the littlest of people. Well into her 80’s, Brooke Astor was still at the focal point in the elite social circles of New York Society. Many parties were given in her honor over many years, simply because tagging her name to such an event caused much money to be donated. She knew it and she used her power to generate millions of dollars for charities across the city. She treated New York Public Library as her home and for a long time, when you talked of one, you naturally talked of the other. It was Brooke Astor’s money that helped turn the library around after a very bleak period in the 70’s. Mrs.Astor and New York Public Library were as one. She was like that to a lot of institutions, namely the Metropolitan Museum.

Interestingly the maxim “you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family” rings like a clear bell when talking about Brooke Astor. It is her friends who remained loyal to her during her declining years and now even in death. Fiercely, they stand by her symbolic side to protect her integrity and intentions. The fight that is currently taking place in court today, is a brutal one. It pits family against family, severing a bond of familial love that will never be mended. It also pits Brooke Astor’s son Anthony against Brooke Astor’s closest and devoted friend Annette de la Renta. Always one to be the center of attention, it is hard to imagine what Brooke Astor might think of about the legal battle being waged in her name.

Please join Meryl Gordon as she discusses her book Mrs. Astor Regrets: The Hidden Betrayals of a Family Beyond Reproach on Monday June 1st at 6:30 PM, at the Mid-Manhattan Library.

"Not to brag or anything, but if you saw me from behind, you'd probably think I was perfect."

After sixteen years, Terra Rose Cooper has mastered the fine art of hiding the cracks in the facade of her perfect life. Concealer and foundation quickly camouflage the port-wine stain on Terra's cheek. A rigorous exercise regimen gives Terra control over her body that she never had over her face. It also makes sure her body is one that her boyfriend, a beautiful and popular jock himself, will definitely appreciate.

It's harder to hide her family's flaws; her father's denigrating comments, her mother's compulsive baking (and eating), the flight of her older brothers' away from the family--and from their little sister. Terra is so focused on her plan to finish high school early and flee to an East Coast college that, sometimes, it's easy to forget that she bears marks from the household as clear as any birthmark.  read more »

Is it possible to fall in love with a book? If it is, The Teashop Girls (2008 ) by Laura Schaefer, with illustrations by Sujean Rim, now holds my heart. I wasn't sure what to expect from this book, especially since I am not actually much of a tea drinker, but as soon as I saw the cover and the illustration of The Steeping Leaf I knew this book would have my undying devotion.

But that doesn't tell you what it's actually about.

Annie Green and her best friends Genna and Zoe have been drinking tea at the Steeping Leaf since grade school when they founded an exclusive group called The Teashop Girls. More than a fondness of tea is required in order to be a proper Teashop Girl, there are rules:

"1) Teashop Girls are best friends forever.

2) Tea is held every week, no matter what.

3) All tea and scones must be split equally at all times."  read more »